Tag Archives: texting

No Tips… No Tipsy…

16 Sep

One of my Favorite People sent me that phrase via text last night as I was complaining of a slow evening at work… I think it’s hilarious. Fear not, my dear Other Favorite People, I came out okay by the end of the night. . . .

As usual, I digress.

I returned to my bartending job last night after nearly a full month off. Between being injured, a trip to Florida, and a closure, it had been a while.

I was, of course, a bit worried that I would have forgotten how to make a bourbon and coke or that all of my Dear Regulars had forgotten me, but I was excited to be back behind the bar and, I have to admit, more than ready to hear all the juicy gossip on events that had transpired in my absence.

I came in, said hello to everyone, got everything ready for my shift and darted over to the one lady who is ALWAYS THERE….

Her: How was your trip?
Me: Mostly Okay. I should have come home early.
Her: I understand that, I need another beer.
**Popping Bottle Cap**
Me: So… What did I miss!?!?!?
Her: Nothing.
Me: Seriously. I’ve been gone almost a month. I find that hard to believe.
Her: You know how it is, same old, same old.

I have to admit, I walked away disappointed, as I was eager to hear who did what to whom over the past several weeks.

A few hours later, another regular comes in, comments on the fact that I have been out of pocket, and orders a drink. She begins chatting with Ms. Always There. The subject turns to a new bartender who was hired in my absence and seems to have a reputation with these two… and then I hear….

Ms. Always There: Well, I don’t know how long she will last, but she did well in tips. Someone even brought her two live lobsters!
***I freeze in the middle of what I am doing and continue to listen***
Other Regular: Really!! That’s crazy!
Ms. Always There: And a cheese tray.
***At this point I run back over***
Me: Stop. Wait. Hold up. I come in 3 hours ago and ask you if I missed ANYTHING. You tell me no, and now you are discussing live lobsters as a tip and that didn’t occur to you as an oddity?
Ms. Always There: She REALLY likes lobster.

Do they really scream when you drop them in boiling water???

Hmmmmf.

If any of you come see me and would like to bring me steaks…

Just don’t bring a live cow, okay?

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