One of my Favorite People sent me that phrase via text last night as I was complaining of a slow evening at work… I think it’s hilarious. Fear not, my dear Other Favorite People, I came out okay by the end of the night. . . .
As usual, I digress.
I returned to my bartending job last night after nearly a full month off. Between being injured, a trip to Florida, and a closure, it had been a while.
I was, of course, a bit worried that I would have forgotten how to make a bourbon and coke or that all of my Dear Regulars had forgotten me, but I was excited to be back behind the bar and, I have to admit, more than ready to hear all the juicy gossip on events that had transpired in my absence.
I came in, said hello to everyone, got everything ready for my shift and darted over to the one lady who is ALWAYS THERE….
Her: How was your trip?
Me: Mostly Okay. I should have come home early.
Her: I understand that, I need another beer.
**Popping Bottle Cap**
Me: So… What did I miss!?!?!?
Me: Seriously. I’ve been gone almost a month. I find that hard to believe.
Her: You know how it is, same old, same old.
I have to admit, I walked away disappointed, as I was eager to hear who did what to whom over the past several weeks.
A few hours later, another regular comes in, comments on the fact that I have been out of pocket, and orders a drink. She begins chatting with Ms. Always There. The subject turns to a new bartender who was hired in my absence and seems to have a reputation with these two… and then I hear….
Ms. Always There: Well, I don’t know how long she will last, but she did well in tips. Someone even brought her two live lobsters!
***I freeze in the middle of what I am doing and continue to listen***
Other Regular: Really!! That’s crazy!
Ms. Always There: And a cheese tray.
***At this point I run back over***
Me: Stop. Wait. Hold up. I come in 3 hours ago and ask you if I missed ANYTHING. You tell me no, and now you are discussing live lobsters as a tip and that didn’t occur to you as an oddity?
Ms. Always There: She REALLY likes lobster.
If any of you come see me and would like to bring me steaks…
Just don’t bring a live cow, okay?