I Call Shenanigans…

11 Mar

This past week has been so full of ridiculous insanity that I had to share. I couldn’t make this shit up, ya’ll.

Let me start with last night… I went out to catch a show and apparently, while I was at this club, but parked the truck in front of another one…

SOMEONE STOLE THE TAILGATE.

Enserio.

Who does that? This borders on one of the most ridiculous things that has ever happened to me. Okay, well, not at the top of the list, but it is pretty ridiculous.

Anyway, if anyone happens upon a random tailgate for a white ford truck, let me know? I won’t be mad if it magically reappears.

Also in FANTABULOUSLY SPECTACULAR news this week….

I submitted a limerick as part of a cover letter for a job.

See? I told you I couldn’t make this up. What happened was….

I am still fiercely searching for a job. I don’t know if there are 29438723958237592873592857293857239857239587 people out there who are unemployed and who do the same thing I do, only it looks 10000000% better on their resumes or what, but times are getting desperate. Taco Bell doesn’t even want to hire me. (No, I am not a felon. Yes, if any expert types out there wanted to look at my resume for FREE, I will gladly send it to you and I take constructive criticism well. Also, if anyone wanted to hire me, that would be GLORIOUS.)

So I was searching for jobs this morning, and while I am all over all of the major career sites, I also make it a point to search CraigsList as well. This morning I am pretty sure it paid off. The following are excepts from the ad that was placed:

We need an energetic entry level assistant with some marketing training who can also handle multitasking and whatever kind of ***** we need done that day.

Soooo. . ..if you don’t multitask well, or you prefer a stable environment where you know what you’ll be doing each day, or you’re uncomfortable with the fact that there’s beer in the fridge and a bar in the owner’s office and the advertising general manager sells sex toys in her spare time and that the remodeling company’s office manager claims she’s trilingual (English, sarcasm and profanity) . . …this may not be the right company for you. There are plenty of normal companies advertising on here, and you’d honestly be much happier at one of them.

If you think you’re a good fit for this, please send us an email telling us why you’d be a great candidate for this admittedly rather odd job (extra credit if you do it in limerick form), and attach a resume.

Ya’ll, this company is looking FOR ME and they don’t even know it yet!! Actually, they might, now that they have received my unbelievably amazing resume and the following limerick in the email:

There once was a lady named Katie
She needs you to know she is Greatie
She knows how to type
Her jokes can be ripe
You should definitely make her your matey!

See? I even included a bad joke AND a pirate reference; what more could these people want??

I had actually thought about a marketing campaign to let the company know how awesome I am, but I am afraid that the “HIRE KATIE THE GREATIE” FaceBook fan page would be going too far…

What do ya’ll think???

 

 

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