Prison Love Connection???

17 Jun

I’m not even going to go into the process that led to me my most recent crazy online discovery and current obsession.

There are online dating sites for prison inmates.

Yep.

At first I was disgusted.

I’m not going to lie. I still am really creeped out, but also intrigued.

I started reading some of these profiles, and WOW! These guys are some smooth talkers!!! I mean, really… Who WOULDN’T want a man who’s been locked up for 38 years and wants a clean start with a new wife because “I’m currently divorced and I need to be married.”

GO ahead, I giggled too. A lot.

Then I got to thinking about it… I have some serious commitment issues.

Like the kind where I don’t commit well.

At all.

The perfect man for me should actually be a death row inmate who actually ADMITS to having committed the crime, right?!?!!? I am thinking so.

There is no chance of this man ever actually wanting to come to my home or meet my parents or appear in public with me… It is perfect.

Then I found this ad:

My name is Fred Furnish.  I’m 43 years old and I’m on Death Row at the Kentucky State Penitentiary.  I am looking for anyone over the age of 25 who is sincere in writing and who is interested in building a genuine friendship!  I am interested in writing to people from all ethnic backgrounds, form anywhere in the world.

Some of my interests are:  Riding bikes, hiking, playing basketball, watching sports on TV, old cars and motorcycles.  I like just about any kind of music but 70’s Classic Rock is my favorite.  I like comedy shows, movies, traveling and cooking.  I like being around the ocean and I like doing activities that are outdoors.  I like a variety of different things – I have several other interests but those are just a few of the basic things I enjoy doing.

I’m an open-minded person.  I’m easygoing, I like to laugh and joke around and I’m a loyal friend.  If you are interested in learning more about me and getting to know me and hopefully building a good friendship you can write me at the address below.

Because I am not one to leave questions unanswered, I turned to the State of Kentucky and they happen to have their OWN profile for him, since he happens to be on death row. Their review was a little less glowing:

FURNISH, FRED, DOB 12-24-67, was sentenced to death on July 8, 1999 in Kenton County for the murder of Ramona Jean Williamson. On June 25, 1998, Furnish entered into Mrs. Williamson’s Crestview Hills home, strangled the victim to death. After killing Mrs. Williamson, Furnish used her debit cards to withdraw money from her bank accounts. The jury also found Furnish guilty of robbery, burglary, theft and receiving stolen money by fraud. Furnish, who had several convictions for theft and burglary, spent nearly a dozen years behind bars in Kentucky and Indiana. Each time he was released, he soon returned to prison for another burglary. By the time he was released in April, 1997, he had hit a prison guard, adding an assault charge to his record.

 

He seems to have left out his penchant for theft and strangulation.

Gah.

So yeah… I think I will keep looking.

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