So I’m not such a “little” girl….

24 Oct

In case ANYONE out there happened to miss it… I Really REALLY love Halloween (and all holidays in general).

I also love dressing up and everything that goes along with it.

The one thing I don’t love is the ridiculous number of “Plus Size” costumes that should have a maximum size limit.

Now, I’m a big girl. I’m fully aware that I am a big girl and I am aware that there are limitations to the things I should wear in public. (Let it be noted that there are things Skinny Minnies should not wear as well- I am not just picking on my fellow Fluffy Folk).

That being said, you will not see me in anything that bares my “midriff.” I am pretty sure, actually, that I don’t even OWN a midriff. I will not be spotted in public in anything that bares my butt cheeks, either. Sorry, all you cottage cheese lovers, you have the wrong girl here!

In the spirit of sharing my Fluffy Girl Halloween (and every other day of the year) No-Nos, I collected a few “PLUS SIZE” costume photos from around the internet. Most of them, of course, depict someone who only barely fits into the “not skinny” category.. . . The others, well… Take a gander!

Peacock Costume...

This is a cute costume, right? On her, it is. Her knees DO look a little weird, and I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but whoever designed this costume to be produced in some of the sizes that are available did NOT take into account that those straps holding the dress up will cut into armpit fat and do nothing but accentuate some ultra-fluffy arms. *sigh*

NEXT!!!!

Aw, a Candy Corn Witch....

This is a cute idea… and I admit that I am happy to see a model I don’t want to inundate with gifts of sandwiches and Krispy Kreme donuts. However, we all know that skirt looks mighty skimpy. Especially in the back. . . . And the garters, man, oh man, what a mess. Peaches with that cottage cheese that would realistically be appearing with this outfit?

Hmmm… Maybe there’s something out there that is still cute, and a little bit sessy, and still fluffy-girl friendly?????

Um... Cleopatra meets a Bumble Bee?

Butt Cheeks covered? Check! Arms mostly disguised? Check! Instant confusion as to whether you are appearing as Cleopatra, Snow White’s evil witch with wings, or a large wasp? CHECK!

Oh… wait. Perhaps I am being a bit harsh. Probably not. This costume could have used a bit more thought, like maybe a CROWN to indicate a QUEEN BEE!?!?!? Just Sayin’…

And behind Door Number 4…

Lucy? Are you dead and bloated? You have some 'splaining to do!

Um, yeah. There are some famous people I would never, ever attempt to impersonate. Lucille Ball is one of them. Also on the list? Lady Gaga, Michael Jackson, Wee Man from Jackass, John F. Kennedy, and Twiggy.

Please, Fellow Fluffy Folk, take these thoughts into consideration before you don those thigh-high fishnet stockings and bare your behind for all to see…

There’s an upside!! Big girls almost always have cleavage few skinny girls can accomplish without investing a few grand! Flaunt it! Go for fantastical hair and makeup! Wear awesome shoes!!

And if you happen to figure out if I ever was in possession of a midriff… let me know!

 

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One Response to “So I’m not such a “little” girl….”

  1. Rachael Fisher October 24, 2010 at 2:46 pm #

    LMAO!

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